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70 Park Beats Marriott to Death in NYC

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After our pathetic week trapped at the Sawgrass Marriott a quick trip to NY was just the antidote we needed. Ah Kimpton. Get this, the staff is well trained and helpful! They seem to like their jobs in hospitality too.

But in its NY way, 70 Park is no Palomar. If it were entered in the battle of the Palomars, it would be soundly defeated in round one. In fact, if it were in a tennis match with either Palomar the score would look something like 6-0 6.2. Down in straight sets with multiple breaks.

I wanted room 1705. In fact, I even asked my travel people to ask for it. But I ended up in 1115. See what happens when you’ve already been in the best room and you have to step it down? I’m not sure the 70 Park people even know that they did that. Alas. Gotta use those computers people!

Tasteful couch art piece.

Tasteful couch art piece.

This bedroom design featured on the website.  With the same art and everything.

This bedroom design featured on the website. With the same art and everything.

There was a welcome package (with sparkling water! yay!), but it came with a computer printed note and the printer was mis-aligned. Did they make me a hand lettered really cool note like the Palomar’s Kelsey Barthe and the gang?! Nope. Oh well, I am glad to be computerized special anyway. So thanks Santos Castillo, whoever you are! If the printer had not been screwed up, I would know what your role is.

Wine, computo-welcome, and best of all sparking water.

Wine, computo-welcome, and best of all sparking water.

The bathroom has one of those really weird tubs. And (horror of horrors) it has a shower curtain!

Bathroom shot.  1115 70 Park, NY.

Bathroom shot. 1115 70 Park, NY.

Really weird tub thing.  I worry about what happens when this is turned on.

Really weird tub thing. I worry about what happens when this is turned on.

Arriving late, I headed down to the bar for a nightcap. Uncharacteristically, it was packed with people and hopping. Sad to say, though John and Pamela are really nice and game to make a crazy fun cocktail, their collection has yet to be touched by the magic wand of Jacques Bezuidenhout. I made a variant of the Berryville Passage:
1.5 Shine (or white dog with a sticker if you insist)
.5 Dolin’s sweet vermouth
.5 Dolin’s dry vermouth
.5 Yellow Chartreuse
1 dash Fee Brothers Black Walnut bitters
1 dash Angustora

But we had to use crappy vermouth, sub in Peychauds for Black Walnut, and use Blanton’s instead of white dog. Well, uh, whatever. It was still kinda good.

Hey Jacques, plus ‘em up!! Note that there are zero great bars in the night life wasteland where 70 Park is. Only the Blue Bar at the Algonquin and Lantern’s Keep at the Iroquois would provide any competition. If you guys created something only half as good as Fifth Floor or Sables you would scratch an itch that needs scratching. Really! Ten votes from noplasticshowers-land.

We’ll demote 70 Park back to four showerheads for fitting me in on a very full night (thanks and yay) but not putting me in 1705 (boo). Now about that bar.



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